HUNTERS BAR, SHEFFIELD

HUNTERS BAR, SHARROW VALE ROAD, PORTER COTTAGE, ECCLESHALL ROAD, SHEFFIELD, HUNTERS BAR

Hunters Bar Roundabout.

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WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

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Before they went crap, the Arctic Monkeys put Hunters Bar on the map. In their ‘Fake Tales of San Francisco’ they say:

 

“He talks of San Francisco he’s from Hunters Bar”

Fake Tales of San Francisco?

The song is a wonderful rant against all those British bands who sing about America in American accents. You don’t need to do that, the Monkeys say – you’re not from New York City you’re from Rotherham – get off the bandwagon and sing about something real; something you know.

 

And they did more than just offer that advice – they went and showed how it’s done. Despite its appalling title their 2006 debut album ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not’ was a masterpiece.

That first album was stuffed full of melody laden pop songs with cutting, insightful, social commentary on today’s South Yorkshire.

 

“..they might wear classic Reeboks. Or knackered Converse. Or tracky bottoms tucked in socks.” (A Certain Romance)

 

These were not fake tales of San Francisco; they were the (painfully) real stories of Parson Cross.

 

Things continued in a similar, quite brilliant, vein with the EP ‘Who the Fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?’. The standout track here being the shambolic (in a good way) ‘Despair in the Departure Lounge’ which remains the best thing the Monkeys have ever put out (in the humble opinion of this roundabout).

 

SO FAR SO GOOD

 

And then it went wrong.

 

We should’ve known as soon as we heard ‘Brianstorm’ (Shitstorm more like), the second full LP (Favourite Worst Nightmare) was dense, turgid, heavy and dull. The Monkeys had decided to eschew melodies in favour of plodding pseudo-metal dirge.

 

Ditto ‘Humbug’.

 

Ditto ‘Suck it and See’

 

So the Monkeys have ignored their own (good) advice, began recording in LA, got on the bandwagon, picked up the handbook and started talking bollocks.

 

Their last decent record was way back in 2006, yet their fans still love ‘em. Back when he was good Alex had the perfect cutting explanation for this – to paraphrase:

 

“Their fans think they’re amazing, so all that’s left is the proof that love’s not only blind but deaf.”

 

I’m off now. The drummer, Matt Helders, lives not 200 yards from this very roundabout so I better keep my head down.

 

Yours, Hunters Bar Roundabout

 

The 
Arctic
Monkeys
Irony

I.e. they’ve gone rubbish

Genius
Plodding